Times of Affirmation

Every now and then you have a moment where you feel as though every thing you've done for a long time really starts to make sense. I think that last night really ended up being one of those moments for me.

No one who knows doesn't realize that I love music....no, that I live music. When I am not working, I am listening to music. If I'm not listening to music, I am writing music. If I am not writing music, I am practicing or performing music. I listen to music when I drive, when I email, when I do work on the computer...pretty much any moment I can find to add music to my life, I do.

For the last almost 3 years I have been part of a band called Half Past Forever. We have had our ups and downs, but for the most part have been down. We have started and stopped, started and stopped and finally just stopped back in May. The 3 other members of the band decided they no longer wanted to be part of a band, or more specifically this band, and for the first time in my adult life, I actually considered doing something other than music.

I was broken hearted. I have had a dream of doing music for a long, long time. Half Past Forever was an extension of that dream, and probably the closest thing I had come to being able to be at a place in my life where music could be my job. Then everything fell apart. The things I had held together for so long just fell apart. The guys I had been in a band with went from friends to mere acquaintances in moments. And for the first time since I was 20, I thought about something other than music.

After taking some time off from music, I began to find my love for it renewed. I started to listen to music again and actually enjoy it. I started leading worship for my church again and found that I was enjoying for the first time in months.

And then I took a step I was very scared to make: I formed a new band. We kept the name Half Past Forever, but we became a completely seperate entity. For a long time with Half Past Forever I had written songs that I thought would give us the best shot of getting signed. Suddenly, recently I started writing songs that I really liked. I never realized how refreshing it could be to write music I actually enjoy. As the band started recording the songs, I realized how much I truly enjoyed the whole process of creating music again.

Then came last night. After about 3 months of practicing, the new and improved Half Past Forever made its debut. And it was marvelous. We played a 30 minute set that was rambunctious, upbeat and, quite simply, rocked. The band was tight, my voice actually held up (I had suffered a bad cold leading up to the show), and we made it through our first show together entact. And after last night I realized once again that this is what I was meant to do.

I was meant to make music that I love. I was meant to make people clap and stomp their feet and dance, if that's how they want to express themselves. I was meant to enjoy myself while playing music. I was meant to play alongside guys that I really, really enjoy being with.

For me, life doesn't get much better than last night....and I think that's how it was meant to be.