The Tour

So, the tour has been going for a few weeks here. I am having the best time of my life. Everything about this reminds me that this is what I want to do for a long time. Obviously it's tough being away from Sarah - till Minnesota, we had been apart for over 3 weeks - but we just made a rule to not go more than 2 weeks without seeing each other anymore, so hopefully that will cut down on the feeling of missing her...though it is obviously different than being together.

But everything, from the performing to the interviews to the comradarie among all of us on tour....it's just all incredible.

I have the problem of focusing too much on trying to be musically perfect and forgetting the performance aspect sometimes. In college, I studied classically and was taught to never look like I'm straining or really even move around...it's taken a long time to get away from all that training. Classical training in this regard has held me back. The training has been great for my musicianship and being able to keep my voice through a lot of singing situations. But from a performance standpoint it has stunted me.

Also, as I moved into performing non-classical music, I was surrounded by conservative Christians who encouraged me to never allow my performance to take away from the words of the music. When I would really let loose (which for me might be jumping out of time with the music), I would have someone talk to me about really allowing God to come through instead of me. So, this was another thing that stunted my growth in this area.

When I moved away from this time of Christianity, I began to perform with musicians who were a little bit snobby and every time I'd attempt to go crazy on stage, they'd give me these high-brow looks like I was crazy. Yet another thing that stunted my growth.

Then about 2 years ago, I finally got with a band that really wanted to go crazy on stage. And I finally started to learn. I started to see bands in concert and watch how they moved, how they rocked out, how they went crazy. So, basically, in 2 years I've had to learn what most people learn from the beginning of their perfomance careers...and not only learn, but unlearn everything I've learned for 10 years.

So, with that said, I am having fun, learning from Blake and Phil...Phil lately has been watching my performance and critiquing me...it sucks because he usually tells me I sucked, but it is also great because with every show, I'm getting things to work on, and really working on them. I think that that is the thing that I am most excited about...I want for my life to be full of learning experiences and this tour is allowing me to grow leaps and bounds because of great interaction with people better than I. This for performing is kind of like what it was like hanging out with session musicians and producers in Nashville...I just watched how they worked and learned.

I have a long way to go to be a great performer, but I have the fundamental elements: people say I'm a good singer; I feel pretty confident in my musicianship; and reviews are saying that I am a great songwriter. Now, if I can continue to lose weight (I've lost 15 pounds on tour so far) and continue to grow as a performer, I think that I can become the artist that I really want to be. My goal is to be the best at what I do. I'm realistic enough to know that that will never happen...but striving for excellence will only make one better.

So, to those who voted for me...I thank you. Otherwise, I would not have the tour as a learning experience.